Letter to Parrots (and cat)

[smile_n_cuddle]

Dear Parrots,

STOP YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!

Sophia: That was my breakfast. Don't eat it! Don't take my pen. Stop eating my buttons. Don't dangle from my hair! No, you can't chew my glasses! Get off of my head! Don't nip my toes! They aren't toys! Don't dangle from the wires! You aren't Tarzan!

You may play with: the keys, any one of your millions of toys; the cap to my water; my hair clip.

You may not play with: the scissors; my mp3 player; my phone cord; the phone; the mouse; the keyboard; the glue; the buttons on my shirt; the phone; my bra strap; the camara; my sheet music; my earings; my necklace; the phone.

Athena: STOP EATING EVERYTHING ON MY DESK! I NEED SOME OF THOSE THINGS! Don't bulldoze into my head when flying! My head is not a landing strip! Don't bite me when I make you move! Stop chewing everything in site! Stop rolling upside down as an excuse to bite! Don't say "Up! Up! Up!" incessantly when I put you in your cage!

You may play with: any one of the millions of toys we've gotten you; the keys; the cap to the water bottle.

You may not play with: the stapler; my expensive resume-paper; the BAR LOAN CHECK; the scissors; my How to Draw Fairies book; the resume and coverpage I just printed; my Bar study guides; sketching pencils.

Spinksy: DON'T EAT MY EGG IT WAS MY BREAKFAST! YOU HAVE FOUR DIFFERENT OPTIONS OF KITTY FOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE SO PICKY! NOW GO EAT ONE OF THEM!

Thank you for your cooperation on this matter.

The Management (aka Mom)

(For the record, Athena is a 1 year old African Grey, Sophia is a 2 year old Cockatoo, and Spinksy is a 3 year old itty-bitty cat)

Comments

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. 5 cats live here.

Also, my next door neighbor (the one on the right, also known as the one I like) has 2 African greys, and a Cockatoo and two cats. I get treated to the Screaming of the Parrots pretty well daily.

[sophiedoph.livejournal.com]

LOL! What kind of cockatoo? We had an umbrella for about a day before I thought i had an ulcer. It was so loud, I thought I'd go deaf.

Sophia's a Goffins--less neurotic, quieter, smaller... but still annoying sometmies. :)

We have two parrots and four cats. Only Spinksy is a full-time inside kitty: the others live on the (large, enclosed) and come in for bad weather.

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

I don't know much about birds. I know it's white with a yellow crest, like the one from Baretta. I'll ask Delia next time I see her.

All the cats here are indoors, as that seven story plummet is a bitch to reconcile.

[jourdannex.livejournal.com]

You know, I think you should just make this a memo and fax it around to other peoples parrots...like MINE TOO :)

I had an Umbrella I fostered for about 2 weeks...omg made a Goffin sound kinda quiet....no not really, my Goffin is so hormonal it's not even funny right now.

Actually all 4 of mine are. Please send memo LOL

[sophiedoph.livejournal.com]

Really? The G2 is still louder than a U2?! We had a U2 for a few days... gave me an ulcer. He'd SHRIEK nonstop. And my god it was so loud.

LOL--I'll have to send it around :)

[jourdannex.livejournal.com]

My G2 is not like your little doll...I got him when he was a year and a half old, the couple who had him before me spoiled him rotten, he did not even sleep in a cage, but in their bed ..when they dumped him in a pet store and continued to shop there he was heartbroken. :/

I knew the story when I got him and he screamed nonstop for the first few months, he still screams a few times a day and I have had him since May 2003. His screams are much longer and drawn out and bothersome.

The U2 I fostered was definitely just twice a day and louder but G2 is more substained and longer.

But yes, when I heard the U2 scream I was like "OMG THERE IS A LOUDER BIRD!"

The funniest thing is the couple who has her now calls her daily vocalizations "beautiful music"..that made my day.

[sophiedoph.livejournal.com]

OMG, that's *awful* what those people did to your G2 baby. He's so lucky to have gotten you.

I love the couple's description of their U2. LOL, that's precious and sweet. :)