Why Women Are Crabby

[smile_n_cuddle]

Why Women are Crabby. Need I say more?

Why Women are Crabby:

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find
anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts
so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty,
uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap
until we have calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along
with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone
crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for
the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your
uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up
with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all
the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and
water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over
Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are),
we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily
kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having
Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole
and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment
arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will
invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with
our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OBsays, "Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 )
good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into
walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking
little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more?

The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual
prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th
birthday.

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all
womanhood. It's either take the HR. and chance cancer in those now
seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a
hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily
and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get
off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in
the woods without soaking their socks...

Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great
Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

Comments

[xeriah.livejournal.com]

lol Being a woman rocks. Yeah....

[niff.livejournal.com]

All last night, James kept saying, "Why are women so dramatic???" I rolled my eyes and said, "I JUST READ IT TO YOU! WANT ME TO READ IT AGAIN??"

[xeriah.livejournal.com]

They should do one of those things explaining to us why men are so unsympathetic. That's the real mystery.

Generalizing

[(Anonymous)]

You're a bit of a puzzle to me because your picture doesn't feel like your spirit. Oh well. I'll get over it.

It's a tad risky to generalize. Not all men are unsympathetic. What's more, men experience a different adolescence, and a different side of pregnancy, and a different role in child birth, so it's not as easy to relate. They certainly cannot look within themselves to know exactly how you feel.

I remember when my wife was nursing our daughter, I heard almost nothing but complaints about soreness, and tenderness and pain when the baby cried because her milk would drop; the "reality" side of the experience. You see I had romantized it. I was expecting her to experience a special intimacy with our daughter through the experience. To be honest, I was expecting to be able co-experience that intimacy through her, as illogical as that sounds, but intead what I got was all of these gripes about the pain of it all. I would have given just about anything to have been able to nurse our daughter for her. I would have gladly delt with the pain, I thought. I expect that this isn't a typical male thought pattern, but I don't know. I've never compaired notes with other males, on that subject to see.

I went back to her a few years later and attempted to explain what my feelings were during that period, but she cut me off before I could explain, saying that I had no right to criticize her. It's her body, and there's not any way I could relate anyway. Then she added, I tell you what. After you carry a baby to term, give birth, and wean it, you can come back and we'll discuss it, but in the mean time you really don't have a leg to stand on. This hurt very deeply on my hyper tender feelings, but she's right. Men cannot really relate, and evidently most don't care to.

Re: Generalizing

[xeriah.livejournal.com]

You're right, generalizing is a risky thing to do in any situation. I should have been more careful how I phrased that, even tho the comment was made in jest... but it did come across as probably rather abrupt (if that's the right term) and I'd like to apologize for that. However, no, most men don't outwardly act very sympathetic, at least 90% of the men in my life haven't and also, like you said, they show no signs of wanting to understand. Which makes you a very different breed of male, I guess. :o)

Re: Generalizing

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. I knew you were speaking in jest, but you also wished that someone would submit a story that would help explain it. My response was partly that, and partly just my point of view. And yes I'm a male INFP. Not like most men. I've been looking around LJ wondering if I could find male entries that let you tap into their inner self, but that seems to be rather rare. I've encountered one so far.

[(Anonymous)]

Umm, excuse me. Isn't that just a tad bit of a wrong response? What you said to him in effect was, "JAMES. YOU'RE BEING DENSE! THE LADY JUST TOLD YOU WHY!" When you said, "WANT ME TO READ IT AGAIN??", you in effect, cut him off. He is obviously loosing out in the translation somewhere. Perhaps he thinks that going through all of that would not have caused him to become dramatic. Or perhaps his mental image of the term "dramatic" is not the same as yours. If you had said, "WANT ME TO READ IT AGAIN??" to me, I would have gleened from that, that you thought I was dumb.

[niff.livejournal.com]

LOL - We were joking :-)

No worries. If he *really* thought women were more dramatic than men he'd get an earful or at least a serious discussion. (I tend to be a moderate feminist.) But he does tease me about these things - and I do the same back to him.

Sorry if it was unclear. :-)

As an interesting side note, I've found that culture greatly influences reactions and "drama level" - moreso than gender, IME.

[(Anonymous)]

It's a side effect of APD, and ADD too for that matter, not being sure, or often misinterpreting, or being unable to discern when someone is serious or when he is kidding. It can make a fellow feel a tad subhuman sometimes. I should be used to it by now.

[niff.livejournal.com]

Well, when you're used to people meaning things in negative ways it's easy to misinterpret - especially when it's only text without any context. No worries :-)

How are you doing today?

[(Anonymous)]

Friday wasn't real swuft. Better today.