Nervous Breakdown :-)

[smile_n_cuddle]

Weeelllll I had my nervous breakdown this afternoon. Spent an hour or two lying on the bed wracking with sobs, crying my eyes out, convinced I should just walk in on Monday and announce to the Dean I'm leaving, trying to convince James to let me just quit and do something else...

He won't let me. He says this is normal. I think it's sadistic.

My problem is this: I am supposed to write an office memo. It sounds easy enough. When I first heard about it, I thought it was just a fax :-)

No biggie, right?

Well, my professor sucks. This is a technical writing class. She thinks she's God and should teach it in the socratic method. So whenever we ask, "How do we do this?" She responds, "How do you think you should do it?" We reply, "We don't know." She says, "Well go figure it out."

So while the other two classes are perfectly understanding how to synchronize cases and law and track law in their writing and for crying out loud they have a fucking outline from class, we are left to grapple with what the hell an office memo is.

Yeah, nice.

The only ones in our class doing ok on this were previously paralegals. I hate them.

Anyway, my office memo is due on Tuesday. It's to be 15 pages long. I've had 12 pages done since Monday... And I can't continue. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to address the issues, what to repeat, what not to repeat...So I called my friend who's in The Good Teacher's class, and she says, "Oh no, that's not right ... that's not right ... no, you shouldn't have done that either."

Hence my sobs. 12 pages wasted. I have another paper due Wedneaday, 90 pages to read for contracts (because the prof got behind) and exams start the following week. Yeah, ouch.

So... I've decided to start from scratch. I've reviewed all of my notes. I've reread the highlighted portions of my office memo book. I'm gonna rewrite it. And it's gonna be fucking the best paper she's ever seen.

Maybe.

Comments

[liveandinperson.livejournal.com]

"And it's gonna be fucking the best paper she's ever seen."

Hell yah! If you don't ace it, I'll be pissed. You put too much effort into crap to have it all go down hill...YOU DESERVE DA BEST!

[drednort.livejournal.com]

Poor Jeffiner.

But you know you're not allowed to quit, don't you? (-8

[niff.livejournal.com]

Yes, I guess I can't :-) I'll keep going and find out what my grades look like at the end of the semester :-)

[rinabeana.livejournal.com]

Good luck! I hate teachers like that. It's a shame that there are so many bad teachers, but I guess it makes the good ones seem even better. Hang in there! (I debate whether or not I should quit grad school every single day... and I'm still here.)

[niff.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I'm happy to hear that grad school is like this in general. It's funny, at the beginning of the semester, a 3rd year law student told me that they regularly changed their mind about what they were doing there. I thought, "Well, that won't happen to ME!"

Ha!

[rinabeana.livejournal.com]

Most grad students I know feel this way, so you're certainly not alone. I think most of us were rather idealistic about it in the beginning (ie: I'll love it no matter what!), too. All I can say is that it's a means to an end. Good luck!

[xeriah.livejournal.com]

Finish out the semester and when it's over, then decide whether or not you want to continue. Right now isn't the time to make decisions, when you're caught up in the furor of emotions. Let it end, the chaos die down, and from there decide whether or not this what you want to do and if you don't think it is, consider what it is you do want to do. Also, I'd suggest when the break comes, take some time to envision yourself ten years from now, considering what it is you can see yourself doing. Now isn't the time to think about this. You're being persuaded by your emotions--that's not a safe bet.

In other news, you're listening to Weird Al. Go you!

[niff.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's what I'll do.

And yep, I'm obsessed with that music video. I showed it to James. He couldn't stop laughing :-)

Any more? ;-)