Marriage Schedules

[smile_n_cuddle]

This is funny:

Schedule of a Wife and Mother:

Attempt to wake husband.
Feed baby.
Make breakfast.
Change baby.
Wake kids.
Dress kids.
Walk dog.
Feed baby.
Drive kids to school.
Drag husband out of bed.
Do laundry.
Iron clothes.
Clean house.
Make husband lunch.
Feed and change baby.
Clean house again.
Walk dog again.
Pick up kids.
Pick up school stuff.
Clean up dog's mess.
Make dinner.
Call repairman, plumber, electrician, and exterminator.
Swat flies.
Yell at kids.
Put kids to bed.
Change baby.
Go to Wal-Mart to stand on line for three hours to get one bag of chips for husband.
Clean house again.
Go to bed. Get up.
Comfort baby.
Let dog out.
Change baby.
Let dog in.
Get 10 minutes of sleep.

Schedule of a Husband and Father

Sleep.
Go to work.
Sleep.
Drink coffee.
Have wife pick up.
Watch football and drink beer.
Fall asleep.
Go to bathroom.
Lift one heavy object for begging wife.
Go to bed.
Get sleep while wife feeds baby.

Comments

[asyouflyaway.livejournal.com]

Sounds fun, huh?

[fl0werchylde.livejournal.com]

Pretty funny.

A hubby that takes his turn staying up with the baby is *divine*.

Actually, guys always talk about how the sex decreases when you get married, but that's because they are largely unaware of the wife schedule shown above. In Sociology class there was a statistic that housework is basically a "second shift" for most working mothers, and amounts to about an extra month of work each year.

So guys, even though they're supposed to be sooo good at math are generally missing an obvious piece of calculus. And that is--time spent doing housework is time not spent with *you*. So the most foolproof and guaranteed way of getting sex from your wife is... (drum roll please)... to do some housework!!! Not only is she less tired and aggravated now, but if you do a good job, she might even be in a favor-granting mood!

Wow. What a novel concept.

Guys are schmucks.

[niff.livejournal.com]

Yes, for sure. Did you read about how women's bodies, however, are better able to adapt to a new baby's schedule than men's? Women who get up every couple hours to feed are significantly more rested in the morning than men who do the same.

[fl0werchylde.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's awesome. Purpose by design?

[niff.livejournal.com]

Or forced adaptation :-P